Hooray for a song today

It's the opening song in Tru Blood and it's spectacular

Bad Things by Jace Everett.

Underrated musical venture of the day

So I still haven't come up with any semblance of a workable title for this but oh well.

Tusk by Fleetwood Mac

Great use of horns, the whole song works very well with the lyrics

7/8 Underrated song of the day

Yes this is beyond cheesy, I need a new god damn title for this little feature. It would also help if more than 2 people read this drivel. On a happier note, here is your song

Marry Song by Band of Horses

Good day sir....I SAID GOOD DAY!

Underrated song of the day

So this will be new feature and will actually force me to update every day.

In honor of Micheal Jackson's memorial, we will go with one of his works

They Don't Care About Us by Micheal Jackson

Yeah, yeah, it was a big hit and blah blah blah, but I still think it's a highly underrated song, that brings up just as many social issues and problems but doesn't get near the recognition of we are the world.

Hi Kids, Do you like Primus?

First of all, I would like to take a second here to welcome you to my little blog. Basically I will just be writing whatever the hell comes into my head and an abnormally large head it is. Seriously my head is HUGE. The posts before this one are things I wrote awhile ago. I got away from writing and have noticed I am getting more and more angry on the road. This won't lead to good things.

It took me awhile to decide on the opening topic of this new forum for my delusional and generally insane commentary on life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Then like the light from a 24 hour Wendy’s begging me to buy a Spicy Chicken sandwich, it hit me. Let’s just start this thing with random crap that has been floating through my head for the past 6 months.

• If you borrow someone money, how long do you have to wait before a beating is called for to collect? 6 months? 1 year? And if you don’t get it after 2 years do you just write it off, and can you do that on your taxes.
• Being a generally mild mannered person I rarely feel the emotion of anger. It's just not worth it most the time. I have been screwed out of money, time, energy, and women by people and I raise nary an eyebrow, however put me behind the wheel of a car and EVERYONE pisses me off. Really it's not their fault I drive like a total dickbag. I firmly believe you should be able to challenge someone to a duel like the olden days.
  
• How many nicknames is a person allowed? Shouldn’t you have 2 go to nicknames and then that is it. Look at Justin Matthew for instance, What do you call him Biscuits? Bob? Bobby B? Bob Boz? Czar? Ustin? Gay? Can we narrow this down a little? I think 2 nicknames is enough then when a new one is formed the old ones need to go away. Also nicknaming yourself rarely works and you should be rolled down a cheese grater for doing it.
• If life occurred the other way around it would be much better. You come into the world old, then get younger and go to work for 40 years, getting divorced after 40 years of marriage, then have a good 8 years of alcohol, drugs, sex (with many experienced people who have been doing it for 40 years already) and partying until you have to go back to middle school, then you become a child with no worries and finally back into the womb and hang out for 9 months.
• Do people ever go to their neighbors and ask to borrow sugar? Isn’t it like a dollar at the store. Also who bakes now a days anyway (props to Jen for that)
• How many times can one man cock block you until you get to punch him in the face 1 time for free (my vote is 3)
• If you send an email and nobody responds, did it ever really get sent? What about emails that never get to where they were supposed to go? They have to go somewhere (computer memory) was used on them. I think there are really smart chinchillas that get all of these emails and just laugh all day at random conversations and get really mad at the spam.
• One night the power went out in Cudahy. I actually talked to most my neighbors. We congregated in the street and just talked by the light of cigarette and cell phone. It really was one of the weirdest experiences of my life, no neighbors talk to me in the light of day but in complete darkness are the nicest people around. I found that fascinating and I don’t know why.
• Have you ever dropped ass in a public place and had to resist the urge to just stand there with a closed fist in the air?
• Do you have to count the people you slept with in college on your sexual count? I mean college was really mostly about sex wasn’t it.
• What is the acceptable smell level you will tolerate from a roommate? This question can go off in many directions.
• Why is it every time I stare at someone they get creeped out and I end up in handcuffs? You are the one who left the blinds open.
• If I could be someone for a day it would be Zack Morris, just so I could come up with a hair brained scheme, that will drive Mr. Belding nuts, and eventually lead to screech confessing his love to Lisa Turtle (Maybe the most high maintenance girlfriend in history)
• If I could choose someone who I wouldn’t want to be, I would have to choose The President. That is just really a lot of responsibility and quite frankly I couldn’t handle it.
• Why don’t more girls talk about sex when sober? I could use some answers, right now I depend on the show Cathouse (HBO) and some girl on Youtube for all my answers.
• Woman should have to agree to a limit on the amount of time you are required to spend with them. 1/8 of the time you are awake is more than enough. That is about 2 hours a day. Just enough time to talk for 1 hour and then have sex for 1 hour, and really what else is there. After that it should be up to the guy whether you want to spend more time and if you don’t the woman shouldn’t be able to get mad.
• Can you get “played” if you didn’t have sex?
• Why are there social drinkers but not social smokers? I smoke to be social.
• How long do you have to look at someone before it can be considered a stare? There needs to be a scale to determine the difference between a glance, a linger, a long look, and a stare.
• The more I look at Angelina Jolie the more I think she may have been a man at some point. That said I would still sleep with her.
• How much would it cost to hire a hit man? I think you should be able to kill one person for every decade you live past 60. But you have to kill them yourself, so the window to pull it off is really 60-80 years old. By the time you are 60 I bet there are about 50 people who have royally screwed you over that you want to kill. Also legal kills are non-transferable.
• Who thought of the term movie “buff”? Isn’t the term buff used to describe a person who is very muscular? I would think someone who watches a ton of movies wouldn’t be in the best of shape.
• Let’s be honest, 98% of the time you give 2 shits what someone is saying to you.
• Rick Majerus has been divorced for 20 years, hangs around young men a TON, and is good friends with Herb Kohl. Why don’t we assume he is gay?
• I would rather have a scalpel plunged in my eye than see Ashlee Simpson in concert. In a related note I would like to fight her dad Joe Simpson.
• You should have to get a license to play blackjack in a casino. Other peoples money is at stake and you can just sit down drunk off your ass and do whatever you want and screw someone else.
• Tut’s dog has better teeth than most the people in Cudahy.
• How many midgets could you fight? I think I could beat up about 10 before the bum rush got me.
• Is there anyone who doesn’t like the smell of cinnamon?
• I heart Kelly Clarkson, just thought I would add that.
  

Battle of the Boy Bands

ets be honest this debate really only involves two groups N*Sync and Boyz II Men. 98 Degrees never really got it going past 2 songs. Although that poster of them with their shirts off with the fire behind them, convinced me I was straight cuz I wasn't turned on by it (those confusing high school years). LFO was just crap, they couldn't even dance. Backstreet was right there but they just couldn't keep up with N*Sync although "incomplete" was a nice comeback song. Color Me Badd is in contention but the guys painted on beard just killed them in my eyes. I am not really sure what "sexing someone up" exactly is but I would like it anyway. Dru Hill took themselves way too seriously to be considered true boyband material. NKOTB started the genre but were not the best. I did see them in concert (12th row center, Alpine Valley), but seeing a fat Jordan Knight try to molest Ryan Starr on the Surreal life just killed all fond memories, not to mention Donnie Wahlberg playing a 90 lb cancer patient in Dreamcatcher. And unlike Boyz II Men and N*Sync they tried to be gritty and tough with "Hangin Tough" NO DICE. Those three incidents warped my fragile little mind. Right Said Fred deserves special mention for the mesh shirt the lead singer wore but one hit wonders need not apply. Soul Decision just didn't last, and neither did Saigon Kick, ABC (Iesha, she is that special kind of girl), Perfect Gentlemen, Mint Condition, or B2K. You need more than one album to qualify. So now to the tale of the tape.

N*Sync Boyz II Men Edge
Group Members 5 4 NS

Signature Song This I promise u End of the Road B2M

Hair Solid/Good Medium NS

Dancing Ability Amazing Solid NS

Singing Ability medium Amazing B2M

Career Length about 5 3 Albums NS
albums
(JT still going)

Lead Singer JT Wanya NS

Base Lance Mike B2M

Skinny 2nd fiddle JC Shawn NS

Gayness Factor High Low B2M

Love Making Music Low Amazing B2M

Coolness Factor Low High B2M

What you wore
while listening A & F Silk Shirt B2M

Groupie Hotness Cameron Diaz uhhhh NS

My personal
preference Amazing Not quite Amazo NS

Bye, Bye, Bye a close count of 8-7 N*SYNC WINS!!!

So like Mike says in End of the Road

Im not out to go out and cheat on you all night
Just like you did baby but thats all right
Hey, I love you anyway
And Im still gonna be here for you till my dying day baby
Right now, Im just in so much pain baby
Cuz you just wont come back to me
Will you? just come back to me

I feel like Mike's girl. I just keep running out on Boyz II Men. To answer your question, No, Mike I will not come back to you. N*Sync is the best boy band ever.

Me vs. A Convicted Sex Offender

Ladies, for most of you, there will come a point in your life where you will have to choose between either going out on a date with me or a convicted sex offender. The choice will be tough, and many of you will go with your gut instinct and choose the convicted sex offender. However, there are many reasons why yours truly is the better choice to pick. And in the end, just like in Saved by the Bell where Kelly chose Zack over Slater, I know you too will make the correct decision.

Reason 1 = Transportation

Convicted Sex Offenders in most cases will pick you up in their van, drag you to the back of it, and force themselves on you. Not me, because I own a truck, there is no room for any funny business. So, instead of you being tied up in the back of some guy’s van, you’d be riding in my small cramped cab in my kick ass S-10.

Reason 2 = I'm a better listener

Let’s face it, often times, Convicted Sex Offender’s aren’t good listeners. They won’t listen to you on a date when you talk about yourself or also at the end of the date when you scream “Please stop strangling me” as they shove a pillow over your face. I on the other hand can listen to you babble on for hours. I may not necessarily be totally awake while doing it or give two shits about what you are saying, but I have perfected the “smile and nod” technique after hours of practice looking in the mirror in a Burger King bathroom.

Reason #3 = Less Facial Hair

In the United States, 63f women preferred guys with less facial hair in a conducted study I just made up. I will always keep my hair short out of the pure hatred I have for Liberal Hippie Douche Bags and consistently shave once a week so my boss will stop mistaking me for a homeless person who randomly walked in to work and ask that I get escorted out.

Reason #4 = Lack of commitment

Convicted Sex Offenders will often have trouble committing to just one girlfriend, or as the court calls them, victims. While the word “victim” has also been used for women who have gone out with me, you will still be better off not dating the sex offender. You see, sex offenders are usually caught by police because they have molested not one girl, but about 4 or 5, thus, bettering the chance that they will be caught. Trust me, you will not be the only girl they will have their eye on to force themselves on you and later throw your body in a dumpster. I, on the other hand, will pay only attention to you, and not even go near another girl, because most likely that girl has filed a restraining order against me and the law says I can’t. That’s right ladies, I am all yours!

Reason #5 =I am not on drugs at the moment

Any sex offender who is addicted to drugs will always find a way to pay for them, such as handjobs, robbing people at knife point, late night appearances at the 7-11, the list goes on and on. I, on the other hand, am flat broke and way too lazy to take up odd jobs such as these.

Reason #6 = I am a better dresser

When you see a Convicted Sex Offender, they will usually be wearing a baggy shirt and Jeans, this way they can conceal the necessities a sex offender needs when going out on a date, like a switch blade, rope, ransom note, etc. However, I on the other hand, will leave nothing up to the imagination and assure you I have nothing concealed. My normal date attire of sweaty gym shorts and a “No Fat Chicks” t-shirt will remove any doubt that I am simply with you for the pleasure of your company and not an undercover employee of the website “Backroom- Facials.com.

Reason #7 = I am much better at spooning

I for one have taken spooning to an art form. I know exactly where to put the arm that isn't around you for maximum comfort for both you and me. Also I am a master of contorting my body to fit perfectly into your sleeping position so you are comfortable even if I am bent into a pretzel and suffer cramping and other assorted afflictions. It's all about you. A sex offender is much more interested in molesting and murdering you. And that isn't all that fun for you.

Reason #8 = I'm better looking

Lets be honest the convicted sex offender can't be all that good looking if he has to molest someone. I on the other hand am quite cute.

Reason #9 = I have a better trailer.

My trailer is nice, with wooden cabinets, shag carpeting, disco lights, and pabst signs everywhere. Also there is no visable porn. A convicted sex offender on the other hand lives on the west side of the trailer park (where the low class of trailer dwellers live, I live on the east side). His trailer has porn strewn about and tagboard cabinets. Also his 12 inch TV/VCR is constantly showing porn. You can't bring your parents there, unless your parents are really into porn and in that case I guess the Convicted sex offender wins.