Hi Kids, Do you like Primus?

First of all, I would like to take a second here to welcome you to my little blog. Basically I will just be writing whatever the hell comes into my head and an abnormally large head it is. Seriously my head is HUGE. The posts before this one are things I wrote awhile ago. I got away from writing and have noticed I am getting more and more angry on the road. This won't lead to good things.

It took me awhile to decide on the opening topic of this new forum for my delusional and generally insane commentary on life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Then like the light from a 24 hour Wendy’s begging me to buy a Spicy Chicken sandwich, it hit me. Let’s just start this thing with random crap that has been floating through my head for the past 6 months.

• If you borrow someone money, how long do you have to wait before a beating is called for to collect? 6 months? 1 year? And if you don’t get it after 2 years do you just write it off, and can you do that on your taxes.
• Being a generally mild mannered person I rarely feel the emotion of anger. It's just not worth it most the time. I have been screwed out of money, time, energy, and women by people and I raise nary an eyebrow, however put me behind the wheel of a car and EVERYONE pisses me off. Really it's not their fault I drive like a total dickbag. I firmly believe you should be able to challenge someone to a duel like the olden days.
  
• How many nicknames is a person allowed? Shouldn’t you have 2 go to nicknames and then that is it. Look at Justin Matthew for instance, What do you call him Biscuits? Bob? Bobby B? Bob Boz? Czar? Ustin? Gay? Can we narrow this down a little? I think 2 nicknames is enough then when a new one is formed the old ones need to go away. Also nicknaming yourself rarely works and you should be rolled down a cheese grater for doing it.
• If life occurred the other way around it would be much better. You come into the world old, then get younger and go to work for 40 years, getting divorced after 40 years of marriage, then have a good 8 years of alcohol, drugs, sex (with many experienced people who have been doing it for 40 years already) and partying until you have to go back to middle school, then you become a child with no worries and finally back into the womb and hang out for 9 months.
• Do people ever go to their neighbors and ask to borrow sugar? Isn’t it like a dollar at the store. Also who bakes now a days anyway (props to Jen for that)
• How many times can one man cock block you until you get to punch him in the face 1 time for free (my vote is 3)
• If you send an email and nobody responds, did it ever really get sent? What about emails that never get to where they were supposed to go? They have to go somewhere (computer memory) was used on them. I think there are really smart chinchillas that get all of these emails and just laugh all day at random conversations and get really mad at the spam.
• One night the power went out in Cudahy. I actually talked to most my neighbors. We congregated in the street and just talked by the light of cigarette and cell phone. It really was one of the weirdest experiences of my life, no neighbors talk to me in the light of day but in complete darkness are the nicest people around. I found that fascinating and I don’t know why.
• Have you ever dropped ass in a public place and had to resist the urge to just stand there with a closed fist in the air?
• Do you have to count the people you slept with in college on your sexual count? I mean college was really mostly about sex wasn’t it.
• What is the acceptable smell level you will tolerate from a roommate? This question can go off in many directions.
• Why is it every time I stare at someone they get creeped out and I end up in handcuffs? You are the one who left the blinds open.
• If I could be someone for a day it would be Zack Morris, just so I could come up with a hair brained scheme, that will drive Mr. Belding nuts, and eventually lead to screech confessing his love to Lisa Turtle (Maybe the most high maintenance girlfriend in history)
• If I could choose someone who I wouldn’t want to be, I would have to choose The President. That is just really a lot of responsibility and quite frankly I couldn’t handle it.
• Why don’t more girls talk about sex when sober? I could use some answers, right now I depend on the show Cathouse (HBO) and some girl on Youtube for all my answers.
• Woman should have to agree to a limit on the amount of time you are required to spend with them. 1/8 of the time you are awake is more than enough. That is about 2 hours a day. Just enough time to talk for 1 hour and then have sex for 1 hour, and really what else is there. After that it should be up to the guy whether you want to spend more time and if you don’t the woman shouldn’t be able to get mad.
• Can you get “played” if you didn’t have sex?
• Why are there social drinkers but not social smokers? I smoke to be social.
• How long do you have to look at someone before it can be considered a stare? There needs to be a scale to determine the difference between a glance, a linger, a long look, and a stare.
• The more I look at Angelina Jolie the more I think she may have been a man at some point. That said I would still sleep with her.
• How much would it cost to hire a hit man? I think you should be able to kill one person for every decade you live past 60. But you have to kill them yourself, so the window to pull it off is really 60-80 years old. By the time you are 60 I bet there are about 50 people who have royally screwed you over that you want to kill. Also legal kills are non-transferable.
• Who thought of the term movie “buff”? Isn’t the term buff used to describe a person who is very muscular? I would think someone who watches a ton of movies wouldn’t be in the best of shape.
• Let’s be honest, 98% of the time you give 2 shits what someone is saying to you.
• Rick Majerus has been divorced for 20 years, hangs around young men a TON, and is good friends with Herb Kohl. Why don’t we assume he is gay?
• I would rather have a scalpel plunged in my eye than see Ashlee Simpson in concert. In a related note I would like to fight her dad Joe Simpson.
• You should have to get a license to play blackjack in a casino. Other peoples money is at stake and you can just sit down drunk off your ass and do whatever you want and screw someone else.
• Tut’s dog has better teeth than most the people in Cudahy.
• How many midgets could you fight? I think I could beat up about 10 before the bum rush got me.
• Is there anyone who doesn’t like the smell of cinnamon?
• I heart Kelly Clarkson, just thought I would add that.